Conversations With My Neighbors

The house next door to me has been empty for the better part of 6 months now. This is Not Good in a sketchy neighborhood, so I was glad to learn on Saturday that a young couple has moved in next door to "fix up" the place. I learned this because the young lady (around 25 and only missing a few teeth) showed up on my doorstep asking to borrow my phone to call her sister-in-law since her husband had dropped their phone in the toilet. Don't you hate it when that happens? In any case, I have since learned interesting things.

Hand to God - all of these are direct quotes. They were said by one or the other of my neighbors either directly to me, or while on my phone standing directly in front of me. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry or pray...or all three.

"It's just the two of us right now, but I'm hoping my girls will be with us soon. I hear Fulton County is real quick about getting your kids back to you."

"Nah - he's doing real good. He ain't done that in three whole days."

"I forgot to tell you - the DNA results came back! Now no one can deny that he's her father."

"Don't you worry - if someone tries to break into the house, they'll get shot. And then I'll hand the gun to my wife 'cause, you know, I ain't supposed to own no gun."

"You've been so generous - when my food stamps start up next week I'm gonna buy you something special."

Maybe when I was wishing for neighbors to make the neighborhood a little safer, I should have been more specific. Sigh.