Sunday, September 02, 2007

Exciting Event

Exciting doesn't mean good.

I came home tonight from a friend's house around 11 PM. I actually paused for a couple of minutes on the front porch, picking dead-heads off the hanging mini-petunias in front of my door. Then, I turned, unlocked and opened the door and hear a loud BANG from the front office. Louder than my crazy cat could possibly make. I peeked around the door and saw the side window open wide. Um, I thought. This is Not Good.

At that point, I was stuck...the person who had (I was pretty sure) gone out the window could easily have been standing 6 feet from me, at the end of the porch. Or they could be inside the house. Or they could be running through the back yard. I grabbed my cell phone and dialed 911 - and the damn thing wouldn't connect. Seriously, wouldn't connect. I dialed 911 at least 4 times and each time, it would be silent for a minute and then hang up. So, with shaking hands, I cautiously entered the house, walked into the office where the phone was, picked it up and called 911 on it. Now, there is something about the walls in my house. My cell phone doesn't work inside and my cordless phone doesn't work *outside*. So I had to call 911 standing just outside the front door, poised to bolt either way should someone creepy appear.

Here's how the conversation went:
Dimwit Operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Shaky Me: I need to report a break-in at [my address].
Dimwit Operator: When did this break-in occur?
Shaky Me: Right NOW. I think the person might be around here, so I need someone here immediately!
Dimwit Operator: I have them on their way. I can barely hear you.
Shaky Me: That's because I don't want to go INTO my house in case they're still there.
Dimwit Operator: But I can barely hear you. An officer is on his way.
Shaky Me: That's great, but can I stay on the phone with y-
Dimwit Operator: click

I swear. So I talked nonsensically on the phone, pretending 911 was still on the phone with me while I frantically called friends on my cell (which WOULD connect with non-emergency numbers, apparently) until one answered, at which point I could close my front door and sit in my car with the doors locked for the few more minutes until an officer arrived.

As it turns out, nothing is missing. Nothing. They literally must have been prying the window open as I pulled in the driveway. You think they would notice something like that, but... The officer looked around the whole house, checked the other windows, and helped me make damn sure that this (apparently the only window that wasn't secure) will NEVER open again. I didn't even file a report - no point to it.

I love my house, I even love the small-city-enclosed-in-a-big-city that I live in, but oy. Enough with the crack heads/juvenile delinquents/idiot thieves who keep breaking in, taking nothing, but giving me heart attacks!

Post Script: They apparently got exactly ONE thing. My g**-d***, m-fing camera. The LAST time my house was broken into, that's one of the only things they got. Am I just not meant to have a camera? Really? And damn it, I LOVE my camera, take it everywhere, annoy everyone by how many pictures I take and I CAN"T AFFORD A NEW ONE now. Sigh. Insurance wouldn't be any good - making a claim on a silly $150 camera would jack up rates and not even pay for a new one.


Blogger Shawnee said...

WTF? Apparently I should have bought you a taser or pistol or large, snarling dog for your birthday. Although I'm sure, in a pinch, those shoes could be used as a weapon. Seriously, though - so glad you're okay. Nice to know 911 is peopled by incompetent asshats. Program the # for your local precinct into your cell RIGHT NOW. And then go buy yourself a Rottweiler.

11:25 AM  

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